From Comfort Zone Captain to Conductor of the Crazy Train

Last week I posted a picture of a list of races that I anticipate participating in this year. While I posted this with excitement and as an invitation to other runners who may want to join me I received some negative feedback and have been mulling over a response to it ever since. The negativity that surrounded the response questioned me as to why I would travel to these places and drag my family with me. After the hurt had subsided and the anger had gone, this is my response. Be forewarned it is long but definitely worth the read.

For the last fourteen years of my life my husband and I have been together. Right before we got married in May 2004 I left my military career behind, my career which I absolutely loved, at the advice of my husband. We had planned on someday having a family and we didn’t want to take the chance of both of us being deployed at the same time. This was a very smart move in hindsight because very soon after we were married we found out I was pregnant with our first child.

The years went on, the bedrooms of our home started to fill up with the sweet arrival of more children, our house became a home and I became Mrs. Fruendt. Mrs. Fruendt, the wife of Steve and the mother of three adoring kiddos.

Mrs. Fruendt was my comfort zone you see. The safe place where life was predictable everyday, adventure did not occur and joy was no where to be found. I never ventured far from my own front door and if I did I would return as soon as possible because this was my safe haven where nothing bad could occur and everything was sterile and sheltered.

Needless to say my soul was so full of restlessness and the transition from military to mom was never easy and I was at a breaking point. Then the chance of a lifetime came along that saved me and my family.

In April I went on a two and half week long trip to Africa. I visited Rwanda, Kenya and Uganda. While on the trip I saw so much suffering and heartbreak but among that I saw joy. True joy and happiness of people who had nothing, but loved with their whole hearts and made the best out of what they had. While I saw and experienced all of this outwardly it was the inward transformation happening in me that I brought home from that trip that has forever changed me.

While I was gone away from everything I knew, my comfort zone, I discovered I lost something so precious for so many years and I caught a glimpse of her while I was away, I had lost me. I became everything to everyone else and had forgotten to be true to myself along the way. While I enjoy the priviledge of being Mrs. Fruendt and a momma who loves her children ferociously, I lost Melissa along the way.

The girl I was, was lost among the laundry folding, car pooling, meal making, room parenting and the list goes on and on.

After returning I resolved to be Mrs. Melissa Spencer Fruendt, mom to three wonderful kiddos, wife to Steve, family comedian, gym fanatic, running superstar, world traveler and crazy train conductor.

We have had a lot of stops on the crazy train since I returned. Everyone has been completely out of my comfort zone and I have loved every single one. Here are just a few.

1.       I became a runner after years of trying and failing, showing my kiddos when one door closes, turn the handle and open it again, that’s how a door works.

DINFOS Ft. Meade MD

2.       I connected with dear friends from my past and visited a place so full of good and painful memories I had been avoiding it for eighteen years. Teaching my kids that your past has gotten you to where you are now, never forget it, the people, the happiness and the heartbreak. Embrace it and carry it with you while making a future.

Fumika Kayley Kate & Connor

    3. We hosted our dear Fumika from Japan. She was with us for four weeks and now has part of our heart with her in Japan. My kids learned to step outside of their comfort zone and give their heart to someone they knew would not be here but for a short while and even though we miss her every single day we know it was absolutely worth it.

4. I danced on the street on the North Shore in Chattanooga with the hubs while my kids were super embarrassed. Hopefully my kids learned that it is ok to be silly even when everyone is watching because it doesn’t matter what others think of you.

Vols Fan 4Ever!!

5.  I screamed out loud and jumped up and down when my Vols threw a hail Mary pass and defeated Georgia at a Missouri  BWW and fist pumped a man at another table who was cheering. My sweet Kate looked at me at said “Mom, you are an embarrassment”. Even though they may have been embarrassed hopefully they learned if you are fan of a team you give them your all no matter the circumstance or location.

My Crab from the BR

      6.  I drove 791 miles one way for a crab metal from the Baltimore Running Festival. Take away, when something catches your eye and your heart go after it.

My friend Rob, who I

had not seen in 18 years,

 and his girl Shana

on the singles cruise

     7.  I went on a singles cruise
accidentally, not being single and all, met some wonderful people and danced the night away with them. Conclusion, things aren’t always the way you think they will be, dance anyway.

8.       I became a Les Mills fitness instructor. Lesson, when an opportunity comes your way you think is the furthest from what you think you are capable of take it anyway.

9.       We snuck into Neyland Stadium after hours because of information given about a possibly open gate. Just to be clear there was a Christmas party going on so there was an actual event at the stadium we were just not on the guest list and they were in the sky boxes not on the field where we happened to find ourselvesJ My kids learned that sometimes adventure can be a little dicey and the lines can be a bit blurred as long as no one is in danger.

Neyland Stadium Home of my Vols

10.   I started “working” at two different area gyms. This lets my kids know that my first and for most priority is my home but when that is in proper working order it was time for this momma to step out for a bit after being home for so long. It was very scary at first but my kids saw me put fear aside and embrace faith that it would work out, for without fear there is no faith.

11.   I got a sweet tattoo after saying for years that I hated them and I would never do it. Take away, it’s ok to change your mind after years of thinking a certain way.

Fitting life verbiage

 

  

  

  

 

12.   I decided a week before a race that we were going to drive nine hours to Mississippi only to have the race iced out, almost got killed by a sliding semi while dropping the Sh** word in front of my kids, trying to drive south to New Orleans only to have a plot twist because the interstate was closed and then heading north to Memphis. A few lessons here, first be spontaneous because predictable can get boring. Second, sometimes we say things that we shouldn’t in bad situations and it’s ok. Lastly, life has plot twists all the time, just roll with them and change your direction.

This art hangs in my living room reminding my children that adventure is awaiting

 I want to leave a legacy of love and adventure for my children. I want them to chase their dreams because they have seen me chase mine with a passion. I want them to know that life is so much more than these four walls that make up our home. I want them to love adventure and never regret the chances they didn’t take. I have but a few of regrets in life and they hurt deeply because of missed opportunity but I never want that for my children. I want them to embrace life with fervor,  love with every ounce of their soul even if it means your soul will ache if it goes wrong in the end and passionately purse what sets their souls on fire. I want them to know without uncertainty that a tomorrow is never promised and today may be all that you are given and you live it as if. I want them to hold my hand if I am blessed enough to live a long life with them sharing their memories of stops on my crazy train and know that I inspired their own adventures.