From Comfort Zone Captain to Conductor of the Crazy Train

Last week I posted a picture of a list of races that I anticipate participating in this year. While I posted this with excitement and as an invitation to other runners who may want to join me I received some negative feedback and have been mulling over a response to it ever since. The negativity that surrounded the response questioned me as to why I would travel to these places and drag my family with me. After the hurt had subsided and the anger had gone, this is my response. Be forewarned it is long but definitely worth the read.

For the last fourteen years of my life my husband and I have been together. Right before we got married in May 2004 I left my military career behind, my career which I absolutely loved, at the advice of my husband. We had planned on someday having a family and we didn’t want to take the chance of both of us being deployed at the same time. This was a very smart move in hindsight because very soon after we were married we found out I was pregnant with our first child.

The years went on, the bedrooms of our home started to fill up with the sweet arrival of more children, our house became a home and I became Mrs. Fruendt. Mrs. Fruendt, the wife of Steve and the mother of three adoring kiddos.

Mrs. Fruendt was my comfort zone you see. The safe place where life was predictable everyday, adventure did not occur and joy was no where to be found. I never ventured far from my own front door and if I did I would return as soon as possible because this was my safe haven where nothing bad could occur and everything was sterile and sheltered.

Needless to say my soul was so full of restlessness and the transition from military to mom was never easy and I was at a breaking point. Then the chance of a lifetime came along that saved me and my family.

In April I went on a two and half week long trip to Africa. I visited Rwanda, Kenya and Uganda. While on the trip I saw so much suffering and heartbreak but among that I saw joy. True joy and happiness of people who had nothing, but loved with their whole hearts and made the best out of what they had. While I saw and experienced all of this outwardly it was the inward transformation happening in me that I brought home from that trip that has forever changed me.

While I was gone away from everything I knew, my comfort zone, I discovered I lost something so precious for so many years and I caught a glimpse of her while I was away, I had lost me. I became everything to everyone else and had forgotten to be true to myself along the way. While I enjoy the priviledge of being Mrs. Fruendt and a momma who loves her children ferociously, I lost Melissa along the way.

The girl I was, was lost among the laundry folding, car pooling, meal making, room parenting and the list goes on and on.

After returning I resolved to be Mrs. Melissa Spencer Fruendt, mom to three wonderful kiddos, wife to Steve, family comedian, gym fanatic, running superstar, world traveler and crazy train conductor.

We have had a lot of stops on the crazy train since I returned. Everyone has been completely out of my comfort zone and I have loved every single one. Here are just a few.

1.       I became a runner after years of trying and failing, showing my kiddos when one door closes, turn the handle and open it again, that’s how a door works.

DINFOS Ft. Meade MD

2.       I connected with dear friends from my past and visited a place so full of good and painful memories I had been avoiding it for eighteen years. Teaching my kids that your past has gotten you to where you are now, never forget it, the people, the happiness and the heartbreak. Embrace it and carry it with you while making a future.

Fumika Kayley Kate & Connor

    3. We hosted our dear Fumika from Japan. She was with us for four weeks and now has part of our heart with her in Japan. My kids learned to step outside of their comfort zone and give their heart to someone they knew would not be here but for a short while and even though we miss her every single day we know it was absolutely worth it.

4. I danced on the street on the North Shore in Chattanooga with the hubs while my kids were super embarrassed. Hopefully my kids learned that it is ok to be silly even when everyone is watching because it doesn’t matter what others think of you.

Vols Fan 4Ever!!

5.  I screamed out loud and jumped up and down when my Vols threw a hail Mary pass and defeated Georgia at a Missouri  BWW and fist pumped a man at another table who was cheering. My sweet Kate looked at me at said “Mom, you are an embarrassment”. Even though they may have been embarrassed hopefully they learned if you are fan of a team you give them your all no matter the circumstance or location.

My Crab from the BR

      6.  I drove 791 miles one way for a crab metal from the Baltimore Running Festival. Take away, when something catches your eye and your heart go after it.

My friend Rob, who I

had not seen in 18 years,

 and his girl Shana

on the singles cruise

     7.  I went on a singles cruise
accidentally, not being single and all, met some wonderful people and danced the night away with them. Conclusion, things aren’t always the way you think they will be, dance anyway.

8.       I became a Les Mills fitness instructor. Lesson, when an opportunity comes your way you think is the furthest from what you think you are capable of take it anyway.

9.       We snuck into Neyland Stadium after hours because of information given about a possibly open gate. Just to be clear there was a Christmas party going on so there was an actual event at the stadium we were just not on the guest list and they were in the sky boxes not on the field where we happened to find ourselvesJ My kids learned that sometimes adventure can be a little dicey and the lines can be a bit blurred as long as no one is in danger.

Neyland Stadium Home of my Vols

10.   I started “working” at two different area gyms. This lets my kids know that my first and for most priority is my home but when that is in proper working order it was time for this momma to step out for a bit after being home for so long. It was very scary at first but my kids saw me put fear aside and embrace faith that it would work out, for without fear there is no faith.

11.   I got a sweet tattoo after saying for years that I hated them and I would never do it. Take away, it’s ok to change your mind after years of thinking a certain way.

Fitting life verbiage

 

  

  

  

 

12.   I decided a week before a race that we were going to drive nine hours to Mississippi only to have the race iced out, almost got killed by a sliding semi while dropping the Sh** word in front of my kids, trying to drive south to New Orleans only to have a plot twist because the interstate was closed and then heading north to Memphis. A few lessons here, first be spontaneous because predictable can get boring. Second, sometimes we say things that we shouldn’t in bad situations and it’s ok. Lastly, life has plot twists all the time, just roll with them and change your direction.

This art hangs in my living room reminding my children that adventure is awaiting

 I want to leave a legacy of love and adventure for my children. I want them to chase their dreams because they have seen me chase mine with a passion. I want them to know that life is so much more than these four walls that make up our home. I want them to love adventure and never regret the chances they didn’t take. I have but a few of regrets in life and they hurt deeply because of missed opportunity but I never want that for my children. I want them to embrace life with fervor,  love with every ounce of their soul even if it means your soul will ache if it goes wrong in the end and passionately purse what sets their souls on fire. I want them to know without uncertainty that a tomorrow is never promised and today may be all that you are given and you live it as if. I want them to hold my hand if I am blessed enough to live a long life with them sharing their memories of stops on my crazy train and know that I inspired their own adventures.

Seriously Allergic to Running in the Cold, For Real

Another out of chronological order post but this is serious!!!
After about losing my freaking mind after not running outside since the beginning of the month I decided yesterday it would be good for my whole family if I would just brave the cold and go out for a run.
I put on my fleece running tights, long socks, UA base layer top and hat and began the search for the GPS satellite that links to my watch. I started my running jams, cranked them up and set off for a 5k.
Two miles in I was feeling really, really good so I decided that maybe I should make it a longer run. I was starting to warm up at around 2.5 miles so I continued on past my turn around and to another part of town increasing my mileage and finally ending with a 10k for the day. It felt amazing to be
back out on the pavement and getting some miles logged for the month.
After I stepped back into my house that fantastic feeling came to a screeching halt!!!!
I started taking off my wet running clothes and that's when it happened...
The itching started and then the big red dots started appearing all over my arms and face proceeding to head down and cover the rest of my body.

Revolting  rash on my shoulder

I yelled for Steve to come and take a look thinking that maybe I was just hallucinating because I had just put in a 10k after a long time of not running that far, no such luck, I had broken out in a rash with hives.
He then proceeded to ask me if I was having trouble breathing to which I responded, I am not quite for sure, I did just run further than I have in a while. He was not amused with my witty answer so he found me some drugs.
I took some children's Benadryl, because that's all we had. Now, I know to believe my kids when they say something tastes gross because that very well could have been the nastiest tasting medicine I have ever ingested. I then proceeded on with my shower and upon disembarking it had gotten worse.
After taking some time to assess the situation I came up with a conclusion.

I AM ALLERGIC TO RUNNING IN THE COLD FOR REAL!!

I tell the hubs every single day how very cold I am and how this weather is not conducive to living a healthy lifestyle and now I had proof. Proof of a big nasty rash that attacked me because my body was revolting from having to run in the cold. I don't think I need much more proof than this that for the very sake of my health I need a much warmer climate to do life in.
Also, just so you know, I ran a 5k today and guess what??? 
The rash came back!!!!

Red bumpy itchy hives on my arms :(

Running Chattanooga

Sunrise over the Tennessee River

Every year my family and I take a trip to Chattanooga Tennessee. The city is very outdoor friendly and the downtown area is beautiful. The Tennessee River runs directly through the downtown area and both sides are park like settings that offer different kinds if outdoor activities all year long.
It is a safe assumption to say that the city is very runner friendly.
Having just started running in June I had never ran the city before but I was so excited this trip to be able to run the three bridges that cross the river downtown.
Three times during the week I had the pleasure of watching the sun come up over the mountains and flood the valley with its beautiful morning haze and blue and pink skies. They were some of the most gorgeous sunrises I have ever seen.
The first morning I woke up early and drove downtown and then discovered the ire of being right on a time zone change line. I was so excited to run but I was waiting for the sun to come up so I didn't get kidnapped or trip on a curb etc.. After what seemed like and hour (15 minutes in reality) the sun finally started to come up and it was worth every second waited.

My first run was amazing. I ran over two of the three downtown bridges. My starting point was a bridge that is strictly for pedestrian traffic and I happened to be the only pedestrian on it that morning and that in itself was pretty astounding.
A couple miles into my run I was joined by other runners. I ran the city streets for the first time and just fell more in love with the city than I already had been. However, those moments of stillness and peacefulness all alone before the city woke up will always be one of my favorite running memories.

For my second run that week I ran the North Shore area. This area is considered the art district with small shops and an eclectic atmosphere. This area also includes Coolidge Park, a beautiful area with wide lit paths, great for running and a marshland project where I saw about a million turtles. After my run I decided the North Shore was the perfect yoga spot. My view of the Art Museum on the other side of the perfectly still water was breathtaking.

Yoga was going great, I was completely relaxed and flexible until I felt something on my foot only to look down and discover that I had indeed set up my mat right on an ant hill.

For my final run I decided that I needed to run the three bridges and finish at the Art Museum. What a fantastic run with a huge winding challenge at the end. I loved every single second of running Chattanooga. It is so scenic and relaxing.
When a city is built around embracing the outdoors and recreation everywhere you turn I don't think you could go wrong visiting there.
I cannot wait to head back for some more.

I'm so Freaking Cold!!!!

Even though this is killing my OCD ways, I am going out of chronological order to bring this sad and disturbing announcement, IT'S SO FREAKING COLD HERE!!!


I'm so freaking cold, this has been my over used statement for the past two weeks. When the weather changes here in Central Illinois it changes for the worse and stays worse for the next four to five months.
It becomes a wasteland of bare trees, brown colored grass, snowy and icy streets and gray colored skies.
It can be very depressing. In keeping with honesty I had two days last week that ended in tears because it was so yucky outside I seriously just could not handle it.
Being new to running, I had wondered when enjoying my 75 degree sunny running days how I was going to fare running when the weather turned. Well my conclusion was that it wasn't going to be good but it was going to be doable. Guess what, I was 100 percent right on with my assessment.
Running in the cold sucks, literally it sucks. It sucks the breath out of your lungs, the warmth out of your body, the tears out of your eyes and the snot right out of your nose.
So, this morning I was determined to get up and go for a run even though the temperature was hovering right around 32.
I put on my fleece running tights, my baselayer shirts, running hat and mittens (Yes, I said mittens, because running mittens are cute) and my sunglasses which were not needed but I figured it would keep the frigid wind out of my eyeballs and I set off on my run.
It was cold, really freaking cold.
My cheeks were freezing and I had a bit of a shiver going on but it was manageable. When I run I have about a half mile before I leave my neighborhood and head out onto the busy street in my town. My town is small hence
, one really busy street.
As soon as I turned onto the busy street I started to regret this run. It was cold, the wind started blowing and became worse with each car that passed and the sidewalk had a couple of snow patches I had to run through.
I then came to my spot that I call decision lane, aka the corner of Airport Road and Smithville. Here is my chance to turn and come back home or continue on for longer runs. FYI I've only chosen to go home once, and today was not that day, even though I really really wanted to.
So I decided that a three miler would be the distance for the day.
I have my normal route when I head out that way and I can see my turn around as soon I get to decision lane. I ran up to my turn around and started heading back. Guess what, the wind was a North wind. So the wind I though sucked on the way, sucked even worse on the way back. It was cold. 

The good thing that was occurring even though this wind was blowing was that my body finally started to get warm. It was at that moment I thought to myself, oh this might not be that bad after all. Shortly thereafter I ran over a dead frozen squished mouse, screamed, heart rate shot up some more, became a little warmer and then I really started to enjoy this run.
I was almost all the way back home when I looked at my watch and it said 3.34 miles. Well any runner will tell you that you don't stop at 3.34 miles if you have the time to make it an even four. I had to head to my "job" but I had a little time. So I ran my neighborhood to make up some distance passing my house three times with it's warmth inviting me to stop in but I refused.
I finally finished my frigid four miler. I felt fantastically refreshed and I definitely wasn't freaking cold when I finished.
It wasn't good but it was doable :)
I am not quite for sure what I am going to do later this week with a high of 29 degrees, I may have to find a new hobby..... just kidding!!!!

Worst Race Ever

My oldest daughter Kayley is a runner. She is part of a cross country co-op team and the only distance runner on her track team. She is very gifted in the sport and likes to remind me often of that truth.

Race Start

When I started running she had mentioned that possibly she would like to run a race with me. One day while at the gym I told her if she could put in three miles while I was taking my class she could pick the race for us to do. First mistake right there.
I fished my class and she them informed me that she had indeed ran her three mile quota and she was delighted to choose our race when we got home.
After researching races she thought it would be a fantastic idea for us the run the Color Vive Color Run.
They had dancing, lots of music, lots of colors, lots of craziness, I mean what's not to love about this rave that turns into a race??
We arrived early for this race and immediately I started to rethink this idea. There was a stage with loud thumping music with a dj speaking loudly to the crowd that had formed in front. He introduced a lady that was supposed to lead us through so pre-race exercises. By pre-race exercises I mean dance moves, we did the whip-nae-nae and some other moves that myself, being a tad bit older than the average age of the crowd had no idea what they were.
Then it happened.
Five, four, three, two, one and boom. Powder color was being thrown up in the air in all directions.

Pre-race "Exercises"

OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS EVERYWHERE, MY HAIR, MY BODY, GETTING BREATHED INTO MY LUNGS, IN MY MOUTH, IN MY EYES, IT. WAS. EVERYWHERE!!!!!
My daughter absolutely loved this, I was seriously just trying to keep from having a panic attack and losing my crap for real.
After this madness occurred we were shuffled over to the race start. At this time the temperature had began to rise and you know what happens when it's July and about 75 out. You start to sweat, especially me, as I was in a crown of people with no personal space.

Color Storm

Sweat mixed with blue, yellow, green and pink powder. Yep this was happening. Sweat running down with color turning to streaks of brown down my body.
After waiting what seemed like and eternity we finally heard the countdown and the race started.

Already uncomfortable I was trotting along with my sweet eleven year old when she decided to leave me. Yes, she decided that running with her mom was way to slow for her so she just left me, amongst all these crazy people with color smeared all over them.
While running the powder was beginning come off and I was starting to calm down a bit and then more evil occurred. As I passed the mile marker there were these really mean people squirting more powdered color on my person. Seriously, they tried to cover you in as much powder as humanly possible. It was horrific!!!!
This dastardly process occurred four more times. After getting it in my eye at mile three I was pretty much determined this has to be the worst race ever anyone could ever be involved with. I couldn't even wipe my eyes because my hands were all powdered. At this point in my morning I completely lost my crap and began to have a complete meltdown.
I stripped down in the parking lot in front of God and everyone else. I had powder everywhere clothed and unclothed and I could not get home fast enough to shower and swear off this race for all of eternity.

Her face = my feelings about this whole ordeal!!

Meanwhile my precious child was already making plans for running it next year with her two best running girlfriends, I expressed with absolute clarity that I AM OUT!!!!

Lessons Learned from my First Race

Since I quickly became a running enthusiast, stress related I'm sure, I added miles to my route almost weekly for the first couple of weeks of my new found passion. I was just running, by myself, enjoying my time away, lost in my thoughts , then it happened one day. That inevitable question you get as a runner, so when's your next race?
Race, what race? I'm not running any races.
My dear daughter's cross country coach strongly encouraged me to sign up for our big local four mile race The Steamboat Classic. Four miles, now I had run four miles but this, this was an actual race with people that ran, probably ran a lot more than I did. I had been part of this spectacle before, merely as a spectator though, as my husband had ran both the four miler and the 15K, for those crazy souls that four miles just didn't seem far enough.
So I did it, I signed up for a race!!!!
I didn't really train for this because I had ran this distance so I was going in pretty confident around race day that I could do this no problem, and I wouldn't even finish last because they let walkers and children into the four miler as well.
So here it is, June 18th, I had been running for about 20 days and I was going to embark on my first race.
I didn't sleep well because race day jitters got the best of my active imagination and I was up hours before I even had to be at the location for the race start.
With my family in tow, we headed down to the Peoria Riverfront for the race. We arrive and it's early, very early, like 6:00am. My kids of course are bored waiting around for this race start, I just want to start and get done and the hubs is trying to photograph it all.
They call the 10 minute warning and here is where it starts to get dicey for me. While I was standing in a pretty open area I am not quite for sure what happened but the people started coming in droves. Tons and tons of people, I don't even know where they all came from and they just kept coming. People all over the place, all around me on every side.
At this point panic had completely set in, I was being touched, my personal space was absolutely being violated, I was already breathing hard and sweating and the National Anthem hadn't even been played yet!!!
Little did I know it was about to get a whole lot worse!!!!
National Anthem was played, wheelchair start occurred, then the gun went off for the four miler. OH MY GOODNESS. People were rushing toward the start, I was being pressed up against other bodies and my body was being squished between others. I about lost all self control I was barely hanging onto. I didn't understand this breach of personal space that was going on. Their time didn't even start until they passed the mats at the start line, even I knew that.
I came up with what I thought would have been a great solution for myself: XANAX!!!!
After the stampede occurred and I passed the actual start my first mile was the fastest mile I had ever run, I had to put some distance between myself and all these other crazy, non-personal space respecters.
To this day, it is currently my fastest mile ever ran :)
After my nerves calmed down from all of that I started to enjoy the run, even the people on the run slightly as I had my space back.
I hit the turnaround point and even high-fived some of the other runners on the route.
Everything was going just peachy until about mile 3.25. That's when a hill came along. I had never ran a hill before and this one wasn't even a big hill but it still sucked. The good thing about going up a hill is that you get to go down a hill as a reward  in most cases. This was the case. A great down hill finish with lots of cheering spectators, an announcer that butchers your last name and a beer truck ( I don't drink after I run but this is obviously an added bonus for many :)).
Lessons learned: XANAX before race starts, do not start in the middle of the street, go to the side where I can breath, don't rush the first mile, and it's ok to enjoy the craziness of the community of people with whom you share a common bond.

Up next.... the time I completely lost my crap after a race I did with my beloved daughter :)

Running for the sake of my children's lives

So many people have asked me why I started running.
The simple answer is this: So I didn't kill my kids.

On May 27th 2016 I think we were two days into summer break here in Illinois and I was already at my wits end with the I'm bored talk and I have nothing to do dealings of my children. When the hubs returned from work I looked him straight in the eyes and said "I need to go for a run." He then peered at me like the apocalypse was real and happening at that very moment. That's right folks, I said I needed to go running. With this still fearful look in his eye he then asks, "It's been that bad, huh?", yes it had been that bad.
I threw my running shoes on and went outside to the end of driveway. I then proceeded to run two miles. Mind you I had probably not ran two straight miles since I left the military 18 years previously. Obviously I ran out of pure anger release.
Then a dramatic change happened when I returned home. I was calm, cool, collected and best yet, no one was gong to die that day. So I thought, hmmm, maybe this running thing is for me????
So here I am a 5k, 4 miler, 10k, half marathon runner sharing with you my adventures & misadventures in running.